Money conversations between couples…

Test Blog Post
June 7, 2017
Smart Money Habits
July 4, 2017

Money conversations between couples…

I was almost done with the May issue of this newsletter when I had a meeting with one of my clients and we started a long conversation on marriage, love and how differently men and women view money.

This conversation was so inspiring that it made me redo the second page of this newsletter to rather include some interesting info like money conversations that couples should have.Preferably earlier than later in life.

Money is such an interesting topic of conversation and it is usually something that does come up during a talk or heated debate between males and females , especially the ones in a relationship.Money forms a complicated but necessary part of our lives and we have to know how to be comfortable talking about it.

We also have to learn to view money as a means to an end and NOT as the only route to happiness. Money must make your life easier and not more complicated. Having a lot of money but no one to share it with is just sad. Having money AND making memories with it is real wealth.

I am in the money industry and have seen some horrible things that can go wrong when money is the only motivator .I have also seen a lot of couples part ways because of money.

It all boils down to being more informed about money , learning how to make it work for you and not against you. You have to learn how to control your finances and not let your finances control you!

I included an article on money conversations in this newsletter. I hope you find it of use and please send it to other family or friends that might need to read this as well. I am trying to pay it forward in my own little ways

Until next time guys! Have a good June and keep warm!

Jolandie

Why do couples fight about money?

Laurie Puhn, a couples meditator, commented that having arguments about finances can be expected with married couples. The truth is most of the time, it's not necessarily the numbers, but it's what we bring to the marriage that cause us to bicker and nitpick.

Our previous experiences with money have a huge impact on how we view it and how we act towards it. Maybe we picked up unproductive habits because of our role models. If money was a tense topic growing up or you? I've seen the big issues side stepped to completely avoid fights than you may feel unprepared on how to best talk about it.

Differences in culture can be another source of tension. One of you may have family who expects you to take care of them when they older while the other was raise with the idea that each generation is self-sufficient.

Don't forget we also have unique personalities. I can tell you that some of the traits that made me fall in love with my husband can also be some of the more frustrating ones to deal with when we have a disagreement.

His thoughtful and deliberate discussions become dragging his feet with decisions. (Or at least that's how I feel in the moment ) This isn't about making excuses, but about understanding where your spouse is coming from. Once you both see why your partner is coming from a certain perspective, it can make it easier to work with them.



How Can We Talk About Money Better?

Having differences of opinions doesn't mean that your marriage is doomed; how you communicate with one another can though. Misunderstandings can quickly snowball into arguments and shouting matches, depending on your personalities.

So just how do you talk about money?
  • Write it down. Before you two get together to talk about your finances, make some time to jot down your thoughts and feelings about it. It can serve you in two ways; help you identify your end goal and release some of your emotions. Choose to meet at a time and place that is relaxing for the both of you.
  • Make the situation as comfortable as you can so the two of you are in a better mood to listen. You also might want to have a set time to start and finish so you don't feel like this will go on forever.
  • Both sides need to talk. Let each of you have some uninterrupted time to express your thoughts and feelings about the situation. While the other one is talking, make sure you're paying attention to what they are saying. Take notes if you have to. If you're worried about going over the limit, set a timer.
  • Find common ground. Once you both spoke about it, try to see if you can come to an agreement on something and work from there.Break it down. If you're still having trouble coming up with an overall plan for your goal, see if you can back it up a bit and agree on the first step.

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